Fish Out Of The Water
by Erika Marie Chopard
Summary: One night, Haru drowned and Makoto saved his life. But the result was brutal - Haru will never be able to swim again, or he will risk death. How was Makoto going to comfort his best friend? And why was Rin able to walk back into Haru's life so easily? MakoHaru and RinHaru
1. Chapter 1

"Are you okay, Haru?" Makoto asked, concerned about his best friend.

Haru sneezed again. "I'm fine." The brunette replied in an abnormally tired voice. Haru was athletic and healthy so he rarely fell sick, so this was a side that Makototo rarely saw.

"I know what you're thinking." Makototo said, careful to pick his next words. "I... don't think you should swim today."

Haru stared at him icily.

Makoto waved his hands. "Only until you get better. What if your sickness gets worse? Then you'll never swim again!" He knew his best friend loved the water, and even talking about separating him with it was the worst thing. But he felt like he was responsible for Haru's well-being.

Haru turned his gaze to the front of the class, not saying a word.

_'Man, he's really mad now.'_ Makoto thought. But he knew that Haru will try something that night.

And he was right.

That night, he arrived at the swimming pool. Haru was already swimming underwater, oblivious to Haru's presence.

Makoto sighed. _'This kid. Didn't even give me a chance to argue with him'._

_'Well, since he's here, might as well let him have fun for another 5 minutes before I haul him out.'_

Besides, Makoto had always liked watching Haru swim. To say he is a beautiful swimmer is... An understatement. He was one with the water. How the water parts ways to let him pass, how it gently glides over him, caressing every inch of his muscular form.

Suddenly, Makoto felt weird. Haru had not made any movement in the last minute or so. He did have a habit of just staying at the bottom of the body of water, but something told him that this was out of the ordinary.

'Haru? Haru?' Makoto yelled. Despite knowing how much Haru loved the water, he was reasonable enough to respond in case anything happened.

_Did something happen?_

"Haru? HARU!" Makototo yelled again, this time fear stabbed his heart. He ran along all the sides of the pool.

_Shit, it's so dark. I can't see him._ He thought. He was deathly afraid of the dark. What should he do? Go down and find him?

Makoto's knees shivered in fear at the thought. He hated the dark, but he was beyond horrified at the thought of being in dark waters.

_'But if something really happened to Haru, can I live with myself?'_ A thought popped into his head.

Makoto bit his teeth until it almost drew blood. He took off his t-shirt. Then with a final gasp of air, he dove in. Deeper and deeper. His heart raced when he began to feel the darkness close in on him. The silence in the water was so great that his own heartbeat pounded in his ear. It started to choke him.

His body was so close to pulling back, but Makoto scolded himself. _My best friend is down here. I **have** to find him._

_He needs me._

_He... needs me?_ This was a concept that was so alien to him. Haru was the kind of person who never asked help from anyone, nor did he give the chance for people to worry about him. It was a wonder to some people how he managed to have friends at all since he never seemed to depend on people.

But Makoto didn't care.

He knew that under that stoic figure and intense icy stare, he knew that Haru was a passionate boy who just didn't know how to reach out.

Makoto saw a figure in the darkness. He couldn't make out what it was, but Makoto knew. Suddenly, it was as if the darkness disappeared as Makoto drew closer.

It was Haru. He was lying at the bottom of the pool, eyes closed, not moving.

He took Haru's arm, placed it across his shoulder and kicked upwards.

The two finally broke the surface. Makoto gasped for air.

But Haru did not.

Makoto panicked and got Haru out of the water as fast as he could. He laid him down on the tiled floor.

"Shit." Makoto cried out loud. He could see Haru was not breathing and his lips had turned blue.

_'I have to start CPR.'_ Makoto instinctively thought. But Makoto had never given CPR to a male before. The thought of his lips pressing against Haru's...

_'He will die if you don't do it.'_ The reasonable side of him snapped. Then without thinking, Makoto crushed his lips upon Haru's and started CPR.

After the 3rd round of chest compressions, Makoto dove in for Haru's lips again when Haru started coughing up water. He pulled back, a sigh of relief left him. Makoto turned Haru on his side, towards him, to aid the water-expulsion process.

But even after getting rid of all the water in his lungs, Haru did not look like he was fully conscious.

Makoto grabbed a towel and wrapped it around him and carried the smaller man in his arms, cradling him against his bare chest.

_'He's so cold.'_ Makoto thought as Haru's body pressed against his'. His eyes started to fill with tears out of worry.

Without further delay, Makoto ran to the nearest hospital, clutching Haru with his life.

* * *

Haru opened his eyes and all he could see was a blur of white. He heard voices, but they were too fuzzy to make out what they were saying.

Then, a familiar face loomed into view. It was foggy, but he thinks he could make out who it was by the familiar colour of his hair.

"Makoto?" He tried calling out. But all he heard was the sound resounding in his head.

Then, he fell into darkness again.

* * *

"Doctor." Makoto greeted, pulling away from Haru. "I am so sorry to disturb you so late at night."

"It's fine." The doctor said, waving his hand. "Anyway, it seems like your friend blacked out while he was underwater."

Makototo's eyes widened. It was not something that would happen to Haru. He could stay underwater for long periods of time and still not come up for air. What changed this time?

"He was having a flu, sneezing all the time. If I knew that it was a problem, I would have never let him swim." Makoto said.

The doctor was deep in thought. Then he spoke "Oxygen is important for the body. And the body needs more oxygen when it moves more rigorously, or when it's doing exercise. That's why breathing technique is important. If there's not enough oxygen in the body, especially the brain, it's called hypoxia. Well..." the doctor trailed off, looking at Haru. "That's when a person will faint."

"Are there any effects from hy..pox...xia?" Makoto asked. He was too afraid to know the answer, but he had to know. This was the reality they are faced with.

The doctor shook his head. "For his case, not from hypoxia, no."

Before Makoto could breathe a sigh of relief, the doctor continued "But..."

His heart dropped. His mouth was dry and could not utter a single word.

"But... The water that came into his lungs had damaged his lung tissue." The doctor looked at Makoto squarely. "I don't know how else to put this. But I don't think your friend can swim anymore."

Makoto took a while to process the doctor's words. Haru can't swim anymore? Haru? Can't swim? What did it mean? It was unfathomable that in this world, Haru had to live on land and not in water.

The doctor placed his hand on Makoto's shoulder as a reassuring gesture. "I am sorry." He said. He got up and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Makoto stared at the sleeping Haru, still trying to process what had happened.

* * *

Haru's eyes fluttered open. It was dark, but he could make out the hospital ceiling. He felt something warm clasp his hand. He tilted his head to the side and saw a familiar shade of colour. Makoto was resting his forehead against his own arm, his hand clasped tightly on Haru's hand.

"Makoto..." Haru called out weakly. Immediately, Makoto looked up at Haru, releasing his grip on Haru's hand.

Haru was taken aback. Had Makoto been... Crying? Even in the dark, he could see a glimmer in his eyes.

"What's going on?" Haru asked, mustering all the strength to ask.

Makoto gave a reassuring smile, despite it turning out to be a crooked one. "Ssshhh. Don't talk. You need to rest first." He said bravely while patting Haru's leg reassuringly.

"What... Happened?" Haru asked, even more alarmed than before.

"You fainted." Makoto said. "The doctor says you need to rest. So please, go back to sleep."

"It's dark. Are you okay?" Haru asked, remembering how his friend really hated the dark.

Makoto nodded his head. "I am okay. I'm not scared. Now go to sleep."

Haru nodded, trusting his friend's words. It wasn't long before he was swept under again.

Makoto watched as Haru fell asleep._ 'I'm scared of the dark... But... I'm more scared of losing you again.'_ Makoto thought bitterly. He looked out the window. The full moon hung low in the sky.

Makoto sighed. How was he going to tell Haru about his predicament now?

* * *

In the morning, Makoto was up bright and early. He had requested the doctor to come in and explain the situation to Haru. Maybe if he listened to a professional, he would take it better. Makoto had been contemplating all night whether he should break the news or should the doctor do it. He felt like this was his best bet.

He had also called up Nagisa, Rei, Gou and Miho-sensei and asked them to be with Haru when the doctor broke the news.

"Are you sure? He can't swim anymore?" Gou asked. There was a numbness in her voice on the other side of the line.

Silence. Every time Makoto said it, the clearer it became to him - Haru can never swim again.

"Unn." Was all Makoto could muster.

"Okay. I'm coming over now." And with a click, the call disconnected.

* * *

Soon, everyone was at the hospital. Haru was still asleep. Everyone kept quiet, looking at Haru, looking solemn. They didn't speak to each other. Because what could they talk about? Everyone was too shocked to think. They didn't expect in this universe that something like this could happen.

"Excuse me" a voice came from the door. The doctor stepped in.

At that moment, Haru's eyes fluttered open. Then he stared at the room around him.

"Why is everyone here?" Haru asked, confused. Nobody dared to say anything. Nobody dared to look him in the eye. Instead, they exchanged glances with each other.

"Haru, how are you feeling? Does it hurt anywhere?" The doctor asked in a soft, friendly tone.

Haru shook his head, a confused look on his face. "I am fine."

"Well, that's excellent." The doctor said as he pulled up a chair and sat next to Haru. Makoto stood tall at the foot of the bed, unable to move.

"I don't know if you recall, but last night you were swimming." The doctor said.

_Swimming? Yes, I was._ Haru started to remember now. He was swimming at the bottom of the pool. He saw nothing but light retractions in the water above him. Then... He could remember he was coughing. He remembered feeling a warmth enveloping him. He could hear a soft heartbeat... and that was all he remembered.

"You fainted while you were still underwater. And subsequently, you drowned. Your friend here performed CPR and brought you to the hospital." The doctor pointed towards Makoto.

_'Is that why my lips hurt?'_ Haru thought. _'Huh, he didn't seem like the type. Baka, even if you had the chance to kiss me, you didn't have to be so rough.'_

"The fainting spell was caused by hypoxia, where the body is not getting enough oxygen. But there were no side effects that resulted, thank goodness."

Haru breathed a sigh of relief._ Good, so I can go home and swim today._

"But... The water that got into your lungs did some substantial damage to your lung tissue. It seems that it's irreversible."

Haru looked at the doctor as if he had been speaking in some foreign language. _What was he saying?_

"I am sorry, but I don't think you will be able to swim anymore."

Silence. Nobody dared to say anything or move an inch. They saw Haru's eyes widen, and then he dropped his head so that his hair was covering his eyes. But then, they could see tears trail down his cheeks.

"Haru..." Gou started.

"Out." Haru snapped. Everyone looked at each other, and left reluctantly. The doctor got up, patted Haru by his knee and left. Makoto was the only one hasn't left the room, standing at the foot of the bed. Haru didn't seem to care. Haru started to cry. He didn't even feel like crying but his body was doing it for him.

_Why am I crying? What's going on?_ Haru thought, still confused about the whole situation. He held up the palms of his hands and watched the tears drop onto it.

_'Water...'_

And at the foot of the bed, the normally calm and collected Makoto started to silently cry too.


	2. Chapter 2 - Denial

Haru had to stay more night for observation before he will be discharged. After hearing the news, he refused to speak to anyone, including Makoto.

"I am so sorry for his behaviour." Makoto explained to the doctor outside Haru's room. "He really loves swimming. He's just... Crushed that this news came so suddenly."

The doctor smiled knowingly. "I will never understand his love for swimming. But I understand what it means to lose something you love so much." He patted Makoto on the shoulder reassuringly. "Your friend needs you to be there for him, even if he doesn't realize it. He's in shock right now. So stay with him."

Makoto could only nod as a response. The doctor left. Makoto watched Haru from outside the door as the door had a glass window in it. Haru was still sound asleep.

Makoto was starting to feel drowsy. It was late at night and he had not been sleeping well the past night as he was on high alert in case anything happened. He walked away from Haru's room, confident he will be okay for a few minutes alone, and looked for a coffee vending machine.

After a while, Haru walked back to the room, canned coffee in hand, when he heard a voice coming from Haru's room. He peeked inside and saw a familiar shade of red.

_Rin?_ He fell back, not wanting to be seen. He probably found out that Haru was in hospital from his sister.

"How are you feeling?" He heard. It was Rin's voice.

"Fine." Haru spoke. Which surprised Makoto because he didn't want to talk to anyone at all for the whole day.

"I heard you can't swim anymore." Rin said in a blunt manner. "I don't know what I can say about that. But... I'm sorry." Rin started laughing. "Man, I'm really bad at this."

"Hmm." Haru responded shortly.

"Hmmm. Do you remember when we first met? We slammed into each other in the water because we didn't see where we were going." Rin said, chuckling. "Then I remembered we were so angry at each other that we had a race then and there. But before we could finish, our instructor hauled us out of the pool. Man, I was so mad. And you were too."

Rin kept silent for a while, as if thinking, then he continued. "You were the one who got me to care about swimming. The way you moved in the water... I was envious. I wanted that."

Makoto tilted his head to take a peek. Rin was now sitting on the side of Haru's bed. His hand clasped onto Haru's.

Makoto felt something stab his chest. What was he feeling?_ And why was Rin sitting so close to Haru? Why was he holding his hand like that?_

"I really wanted to race with you. One last time. At your fulllest potential. But... right now... *Sigh* I am glad enough to see you alive."

"I'll swim again." Haru said nonchalantly.

"...Are you crazy?! You heard the doctor. You swim again, you might just drown."

Silence.

"I would rather die in water than on land." Haru said in a small voice.

Rin let out a huge sigh. "Okay, tell you what. Let's just forget about this for a while. You just focus on getting well. We'll figure something out later. Okay? Promise?"

"...Unn." Haru reluctantly said.

"Good boy. Promise me you won't do anything stupid until the next time we meet."

Makoto saw Rin lean in and kiss Haru on his forehead. It made Makoto's face turn hot. Why did he think it was okay to walk back into Haru's life like nothing happened?

He still remembered how he treated Haru the first time they met after a long time. He, Haru and Nagisa had gone back to their old swimming pool to relive the memories before it was torn down. There, Rin appeared. Not only did he ignore Makoto and Nagisa, he went straight for Haru and challenged him to a race. There was no tenderness between them. If anything, Rin looked like he resented Haru.

And Makoto was angry at Haru too for not realizing that as well.

Rin finally left. Makoto entered the room. Haru looked like he was asleep. Or pretended to be. Makoto couldn't tell.

He sighed. This boy is just full of riddles. He took his seat and drank his coffee silently, wondering what his life would be like after he was discharged.

* * *

The next day, Makoto and Haru was in the backseat of Miho-sensei's car. She took leave just to send Haru home and settle in, as she did not want Haru to walk right after being discharged from the hospital.

Haru still did not talk, so they all sat in silence. Miho mentally sighed, unsure how to comfort him.

They finally arrived at his doorstep. Haru got out and walked into the house without so much of a "Thank you."

"Hai, hai, I hope you're going straight to bed. You still need to rest." Miho-sensei cheerefully called after him as she walked into the house. Makoto followed suit.

Miho-sensei walked into Haru's bedroom, expecting to find Haru all bundled up in his bed. "Eh? Where is that boy?" She said aloud in the empty bedroom. Then she heard a tap turn on. She walked into the bathroom and she saw Haru, in his swimwear, in the already-full bathtub.

She stood, frozen, not sure if it was okay for him to do that so soon. Makoto peeked over her shoulder.

"Haru. That's fine, but don't submerge your head for too long. Okay?" Makoto said.

"Unn." Haru responded shortly. Then he closed his eyes and tilted his head away from them.

Miho-sensei sighed. "I guess I will start cooking. He likes eating fish, right? I'll grill one right now."

Makoto nodded. Miho walked away towards the kitchen. Makoto continued to look over Haru. Then he closed the door to give him some privacy.

Haru opened his eyes and sighed. He stared at the water that was lapping at his body. He felt it hug every inch of his skin, how warm it was, how comforting it was.

Yes, he took comfort in being in water. It was his friend, his confidant. And now, it seems like the water didn't want him anymore. He stared at the water, as if expecting it to tell him why did the water decide to abandon him.

The water, being what it is, kept silent, and continued lapping against Haru's body.

* * *

That night, Haru somehow found himself at the swimming pool alone. Makoto and Miho had gone home long before after finner. Haru must've gone to the pool on impulse without himself realizing it.

But what use was he to be there? He couldn't swim. The water would just be taunting him, leering at him.

He stood at the ledge of the pool, its water reflecting his image in it. By now, under normal circumstances, he wouldn't have that much patience and would have jumped into the pool right away.

But something was holding him back. Despite his head being wallowed up in fog, he knew it wasn't the best idea at the moment. Instead, he rolled up his pants and sat on the edge. His legs dangled, submerging in the water. The familiar liquid lapped at his calves, as if greeting him, welcoming home.

And to him, this was his home. And he was homesick. But he could not return or else he might die.

Haru started to cry. He felt like he was suffocating, for he was like a fish out of the water.

Suddenly, he felt strong arms wrap itself around him. It was comforting, and for a short while, Haru relished in its warmth.

Haru tilted his head to see who it was.

"Makoto?" Haru whispered.

"Unn." Makoto replied. "Sorry. Just thought you needed this." Makoto was about to pull away when he felt Haru's hands grab hold of his arms.

At this point, Haru knew he wasn't thinking straight, but the warmth that Makoto gave him... It was comforting. He needed it.

Makoto was a little shocked at his gesture. He had half-expected Haru to smack his arms away. But he didn't. And that made Makoto... Kinda happy.

"Okay." he said simply. He gave in to Haru's request and continued to hug Haru from behind, comforting him in a way he now knew was okay with him.

The two boys stared at the water in silence, the sobs of the brunette boy echoing throughout the hall.

* * *

There was an awkward silence between Makoto and Haru as they walked back to Haru's house. Haru's gaze still seemed glossed over. But Makoto hung on for the sake of his best friend.

Without long, they finally reached Haru's house. Before Makoto could say goodbye and walk off, Haru turned to look at him.

"Can you stay with me tonight?" Haru asked suddenly.

Makoto was shocked at how forward Haru was with that request. Although Haru was known to be forward when he wants to, this was a request that did not sound like him. "O-of course." he said, trying hard not to stammer. _Where did that come from?_ He wondered.

Then he realized why as they entered Haru's empty home. All this while, Haru had been living by himself. He could cope with it because he found solace in water. Now that it was taken away from him, he suddenly felt lonely.

Makoto gazed at Haru as they both entered the house, unable to comprehend what Haru was going through.

* * *

It was not long before it was lights off. Makoto had insisted he slept on a futon on the floor of Haru's bedroom, as Haru's bed was too small to fit both of them. Haru slept in his own bed. It wasn't long until both boys nodded off to sleep.

In the middle of the night, Makoto felt something warm press against him. He thought he was dreaming, but slowly came to his senses.

His eyes opened in realization. And as he looked over at the figure pressing against him, his realizations were true.

Haru had somehow gotten out of bed and squeezed himself in the same futon as Makoto's. His head pressed against the nook of Makoto's neck. The feeling of Haru's warm breath against his collarbone...

Makoto's face felt hot. His heart started to race. Haru was lying so close to him and he didn't even dare to move. What is this feeling he's been having lately? They're both male for god's sakes, why did he feel so nervous?!

Suddenly, he felt Haru's arm reach over and hug him. He pulled him closer, his forehead touching Makoto's.

This time, Makoto felt really flustered, even if Haru really was still asleep. He was so conscious of how close their face was.

He was also conscious about how close their lips were to each other.

Then he remembered the night he gave CPR to Haru. He still remembered the feeling of Haru's lips upon his'. Even though he fainted, and his lips felt cold, it felt soft. He felt like he was melting into them each time he gave CPR to him.

That feeling was worse coupled with the imagery he was having now. One arm holding him, his face so close to his, their lips mere centimeters away from each other...

Makoto closed his eyes and gingerly moved Haru's hand away, trying not to wake him up. After he knew he was safe, he got out of the futon and ran towards the bathroom. He slapped his face with cold water. His face felt so hot that he felt like he was going to catch a fever.

_My heart still hasn't stopped racing since just now._ He placed his hand on his heart, trying to calm it down. _What's wrong with me?_


End file.
